I have many conservative friends who believe many things differently than I do, yet we, somehow, manage to blend into each other's lives without chaos. But ... it is becoming more difficult for me to maintain friendships with people who, too often or radically or cruelly, voice and demonstrate through their actions, their misinformed or ignorant or hate-filled opinions/ideas about gay and transgender people. I have gone along for a while trying to offer the benefit of the doubt or intentional tolerance to some people, believing that everyone has the right to their ideas and opinions about such subjects, but it is becoming more and more difficult, as the lines are blurring now; not so easy to move for people. I've become too conscious of the fact that I should not have to move lines in order to allow people to be near me or be near and around my family. I should not have to make attempts at making others more comfortable in their worlds just because they do not agree or understand ours. Maybe it's my age. Maybe my beliefs have become so strong when it comes to gay and transgender people that I have no tolerance for intolerance at all, anymore.
I am not moving lines anymore for people; I am pushing them away - even friends and family. Those who feel the need to support and align themselves completely and outwardly with radical, "Christian" groups (or even Presidential candidates) who lash out, demonize, threaten, ridicule, judge and attempt to alienate and or segregate gay or transgender people - or any people.
I am pushing them away because we do not blend without chaos.
I am pushing them away because their hate is unhealthy for me and my family.
I am pushing them away to protect my gay and transgender children.
I am pushing them away because I hope that by losing us, by losing me, they might see that their hurtful and harmful beliefs create chaos that dissolves friendships and bonds, but also draws very defined and negative lines between them and good human beings.
I am pushing them away because I can and I will.
I am pushing them away because I have to choose a side, sometimes, and I choose my side.
In life there is black and white, up and down, forward and backward, questions and answers, top and bottom, dark and light ... right and wrong.
I am pushing them away because I decide what is right or wrong in my world and I will not allow "wrong" to shadow what I know to be "right".
I am pushing them away because their hate hurts and I don't know how to fix their hatred - not even with love.
I believe love always wins over hatred, but sometimes you have to be where love resides in order to keep your own heart from hating. I push them way so I do not retaliate.
My mind tells me to not push people away. Logic suggests to me that I should remain in the presence of even hate-filled people so that maybe I can influence them with my beliefs and love for things they disagree with, do not understand or refuse to accept. I do that ... until I can no longer bear the scars they inflict on me or the people I love. Then ... I push them away.
It is said that "Love begets love" but it is not always true. Sometimes you have to eliminate those filled with hate so the things you love can grow stronger - and then, maybe, one day, you can return to that battlefield and face the hate with a purer heart and sweeter words for those that fan the flame of hated ...
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