We talked a lot about our kids, as they are all growing and going in many different directions. We talked about our husbands and our parents and the lake, the ranch, the boats, the chores we both do that seem never ending. We talked about getting older. We talked about problems. We talked about everything; so many things. And then we talked about Chris.
I feel fortunate because this friend's daughter is a long-time friend of Chris and Courtney's and has remained a good friend to them through high school and college and to the present. Through her daughter, my friend has heard and learned things about Chris's journey, to some degree, but I filled her in on details she was unaware of and how Chris's journey has affected me. At one point I became emotional and cried and she asked me if I was okay with all of it. I told her I was now, but when I tell of how it was for me in the beginning, I still sometimes grow emotional because it was such a difficult time for me, but I am past those hard times now and supportive and happy for Chris. She then said to me, "I just want you to know that I admire how you've handled it all. I don't know what I would have done or how I would have handled such a situation myself."
I can't honestly say that I know exactly how my friend feels about all Chris is going through, but she was kind and open and supportive and I think she is confused about a lot of it, as many people can be, but she asked questions and she listened to details and answers respectfully and compassionately.
When I was done telling her all I could think to tell her, I realized how much I needed to tell the story I know she had been waiting to hear for a long time - from me. It's not the same story I tell everyone or just anyone, but I think that's maybe why I called her out of the blue, after a couple years of not being in touch - I think I needed for this good friend of mine to know our story - not for her, but for me.
I don't know how often, if ever, that friends or family wonder about us - wonder how we are all doing, but I imagine they believe, as most people would, that there are difficult issues and events and times you can go through with a child, and this must be one of the most difficult things a parent, a family, a child, a mother, could go through. And they would be right. I think I needed to see my friend because I have missed her tremendously, but I also think I needed to see her to give her the story and to let her see and hear that we are okay.
I did that today - with a good friend - the right person at the right time. I feel relief. Not because she now knows the truths and details and more answers, but because, sometimes, you just need to open every bit of yourself up and give another person ... your story.
My friend told me many of her stories today and I told her some of mine. And then ... I gave to her the story of Chris ...
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