I am overwhelmed and confused but want to be supportive to my child. My daughter says she feels more gender fluid but prefers "him" and "his" pronouns and has expressed a desire for a binder. He is bullied at school by ignorant little brats and it is killing me and I am sure his spirit. I don't know what to do at this point to help him. I support him but there are times when I am just exhausted and feel helpless. 
Any tips, suggestions or advice is greatly appreciate!!
Any tips, suggestions or advice is greatly appreciate!!
I know some of the feelings this mother expresses only too well. Can you even imagine the fear and sadness and frustration this mother feels? Can you even imagine the fear and sadness this child feels?
Is there a place in this world where people can be free to be who they want or need to be? I do not know of such a place, yet, but this child and this mother are now in my world and the world of me and my children and I am going to do whatever I can to help her and her child work their way through this journey that is, not only difficult, but nearly impossible, sometimes, in our society as it is, to survive.
I gave this mother my phone number to contact me if she wants or needs to. I am not her answer or anyone's answer, but I will do my best to help her pave some sort of path to solace, if I can.
The turmoil of this child is one thing. The turmoil of this mother is another. Only a child living this knows the struggles. Only this child's mother knows the struggles. Society and the world need to leave this child alone - leave this mother and family alone, to survive this struggle that is already difficult enough to survive without meanness or judgement. But it is survivable.
Where in anything written or noted or pledged or documented does it give anyone the right to demean another person's spirit? I want to hug this child. I want to give this child a binder from FLAVNT Streetwear (www.flavnt.com/) - the company my twins own. I want to tell this child and his mother, "Be brave. Be strong. Weather this journey, every single step of it, because if it leads to happiness for this child - and it will and it should - then it will be worth it."
Do not EVER allow anyone to destroy your spirit and do whatever it takes to make sure no one destroys the spirit of any of your children. After all ... it's really all you have to ward off anything that can harm you. It is the part of you that tells the world they have no right to define your worth or your destiny. It is the part of you that God made the most powerful.
We - the mothers and family and friends and siblings and fathers of the children who are fighting so hard to find their place, make a place, demand this place for themselves in this world do not need anyone to condone or understand or love or accept, even. All we need is for those who disapprove to move out of the way so those of us that do (or are trying) to understand and accept and condone and love can surround and help guide and support our transgender children or loved ones to a safe place. If you want to help, then you are welcome in our tribe, but if not ... move out of the way because we will walk over you and through you if that's what it takes to help protect our precious children's spirits from yours.
These are some of the things I want this mother to become at ease with in her journey, become an advocate for, become about. The beginning is the hardest part. I want her to reach the place that I have reached - the place where eventually all you care about is moving in sync with your transgender child to the point that you will do whatever it takes to be at ease with yourself so you and your child will survive the process. And ... I want her and her child to not just survive, but to thrive.
This journey is a battle on so many levels and on many fields and with and between so many people, but battles are won or lost by choices. This mother's child (and my child) is making one of, if not the most difficult choices of his life and one of the things I have learned on mine and Chris's journey is ... the choices I make, as his mother, can help or hinder him from winning his battle. Chris needs to win. They all need to win.
You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have ...
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