Lines

I was reminded this last weekend of a story the twins often find great joy in telling. They claim that when they were both around five-years-old that they were drawing pictures of dogs. One drew her feet of the dog with rounded paws and the other drew her dog's paws pointy. They say I quickly drew attention to Courtney's dog, saying, "That is not how a dog's feet look," and then, after much discussion about who was right or wrong, I gathered them up, took them outside to inspect our dog's feet. And then ... we came back inside and I made Courtney re-draw her dog's pointy feet to more accurately aesthetic paws.

I attest that this episode with my five-year-old twins was nothing more than a teaching moment, while they recount it as a humorous, yet traumatic experience - haha! They also adamantly claim that I would never allow them to draw stick people.

Both went on to become amazing artists, while Courtney was the one whose art was more true-to-life and Chris's was more abstract. If you look at these dogs, while they are pretty similar and not necessarily Picasso-like, Courtney might should have been the more abstract artist and Chris the more true-to-life, yet, they switched rolls in life. Maybe it was this one lesson from their mother that caused each of them to defy how their lines should be drawn.

I'm okay with that. It was probably at this very time when I lost control of them. They were always very easy children, yet they never allowed me to forget they each had their own minds, their own beliefs, their own voice and their own perceptions of life.

Beyond the point where I attempted to teach my kids "norms", I eventually encouraged and supported each of them to venture, explore and even live outside the lines. I've been a mother that has ventured inside and outside of societal boundaries my entire life. I have children that mostly defy many "norms". 

Being the mother to 4 rather "extreme" children, I have learned that living outside the lines or watching them valiantly redefining lines, has lead to journeys on sometimes frightening, yet extraordinary paths. Being the mother to a trans child has been Picasso-like. I'm not always sure of what I'm seeing or feeling, but once I chose to be included on this path, I was enveloped by the beauty, taken on an extraordinary journey.

Looking back on that lesson I tried to teach the twins when they were five-years-old, I now know I was wrong. One of Picasso's most famous dog drawings shows not pointy or round feet, but somewhere in between. The lesson I maybe should have taught was ... there's no right or wrong, there's only lines, lines that will most definitely be yours to draw, because it will be those lines that define your life. Fortunately, they learned this lesson with or without me ...