Someone said the other day that it's strange how all of my kids and our family are so touchy and hug everyone so openly. I told them I wasn't necessarily raised that way, but that is how raised my children and I am proud they are lovable and loved because they are so giving.
Many people strive to be closer to God; I believe God keeps me right by His side; I always have. I believe that much about our lives is merely a test of surviving gracefully. I believe that the God I believe in would not have designed a world where life was meant to be easy - where is the test in that? Many "Christians" would suggest that the goal in life is to live on a straight path and this is maybe why so many resist and create controversy. I think the test of surviving gracefully is being willing to often veer from the straight path, because it's often on those winding roads where you find the extraordinary people, experiences and answers that enrich your life. It's often easier to alienate, more difficult to include or involve yourself in people or things you don't understand or make you uncomfortable. I don't need to go to church to be close to God or have anyone tell me how to live my life. I believe I'm living the life God expected of me. I believe I'm one of the ones He was counting on to choose a winding path, as He knew I'd follow or lead my children there.
My one daughter is a lesbian. My son is transgender. My other son is a bit of a rebel. My youngest daughter is still finding herself, but spent some time learning and experiencing Islam. Some of my kids have tattoos, gauges, piercings, dreads. Each of these children have been "worrisome" to some in my family and "worrisome" to many in the world, but I see and know each of these children to be an example of human beings surviving gracefully. Each of these children know and practice tolerance. Each of these children are loving, kind, generous, intelligent, driven, defiant, strong, beautiful. Each of these children are strong-willed, outgoing, reliant and resilient. Each of these children demand to be known as "extraordinary". I believe ALL people are extraordinary, but there are certainly those, given the opportunity, that will and can change your life. Unfortunately, many of the most extraordinary people live away from a straight path and can only be found if you go there ...
I become offended by anyone who tries to define my children's lives or my life as anything other than divine. This is not to suggest that our lives are easy or ideal or perfect, just to suggest that I believe God veers from the straight path to walk beside me, my children, my family and everyone on the winding roads, as well. Maybe He spends most of His time there. It isn't necessarily those living a "safe" life that need Him most. It isn't those standing in judgement He condones. Maybe He dwells on the winding paths most because that's where He views His creation at it's finest.
I know what some people think, "Maybe if you'd raised your children differently, they'd be normal." I've had people blame me for how my kids turned out. It's true - my children are a product of their environment, a reflection of their father and I in many ways, and, apparently, in the raising of our children we taught them to embrace diversity, and for that I am proud. I will totally take the blame for how my children have turned out, for I think they are navigating a difficult world like four eagles powerfully in flight.
I once had a discussion with someone about interracial relationships - back when that was such a "controversy" (not that it still isn't). I said, "The true test, I believe, that God would offer in creating so many different races, would not be how to successfully and peacefully keep them apart, but how to unite them." This is just logical. But do I believe God meant for races to mix? Yes. Uniting an entire world would be an extraordinary accomplishment of the human race. Keeping races divided isn't and hasn't been easy, either, but the word "divide" (definition: separated or separate into parts) , its self, defines a process of alienation. Would God create a world where He imagined His people divided? If so, why not just create such a profound world to begin with? Why offer Man choice? Some people would say that Man's choice should be the way God made us - divided races from the beginning; separate. Maybe that is so, but I believe He could have just as easily made all of Man the same race from the beginning and then, therefore, there would have been no problem, but by creating different races, He presented potential conflict, presented choice, presented the challenge.
I once had the belief that God intended men to be with women because we were created that way (Adam and Eve, and all. Most of the animal species, etc.). I now believe that it doesn't matter who anyone loves. Because ... like the races, I believe the test on humanity is not conformity to some assumed ideal, but tolerance and acceptance of the extraordinary, and so it would be logical that the most difficult journey is the true test, as "ordinary" is most often comfortable and/or accepted. If He had truly intended one kind of love or sexual experience, He would not have offered the gift of choice. I do not believe human lives are or were meant to be lived without challenge, choice or controversy. I believe the test is to survive peacefully and gracefully and, unfortunately, that comes down to one person's definition of right and wrong from another's, and then somehow meeting in the middle with some compromise.
All I can do in my life is depend on my own definition of right or wrong. All I can do is take responsibility of my own choices. Some choices I definitely got wrong and tremendously regret. How I have raised my children is not one of them ...
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