My children have grown up with a mother (and father) who defies conformity. Maybe it comes from an innate need to rebel on my part. Maybe it comes from an innate need to defy. Maybe it comes from living life to some degree to where you are aware and convinced that conforming to some "norm" is boring or useless or futile or ridiculous or harmful to your own survival. I believe, for me, it is this last reason. It is harmful to my own survival - conformity.
Walk in the midst of everyone, but pave your own path, somehow, to a life that is unique only to you - that is how I live my life. It is not how everyone lives their lives. It is not how my children live their lives. My children have an innate confidence that, no matter what or how they choose to live their lives, they will survive and prosper. My children live outside of conventional lines. I watch them and see that the choices they make are unique and specific to their own happiness. I watch and see that they pay the price, as I sometimes do, to live lives of nonconformity. I watch and see how people look to them and even emulate them, because others see that these children of mine venture and fly without boundaries.
If I could have defined the children I wished for before they were born, I would have wished, "I want eagles. I will love and cherish a sparrow, but I want eagles. I want the strongest and most able. I want leaders and not followers. I want strength and wisdom and wings on my children that span so wide they cast shadows on anything and everyone that would ever attempt to defy or harm them. I want them to be kind and Godly and generous. I want them to know their worth and use every ounce of their potential to make their worth known to the world. I want eagles."
It takes an eagle to spawn an eagle. I am thankful my children were and are strong enough to fly out from beneath the shadow I cast, to fly and soar and cast their own shadows of love and defiance, because they are everything I would have wished for.
Chloe was the first born of our twins, but the meeker of her and her sister; somehow in a shadow of many things that drowned her spirit and identity for many years. Through strength and wisdom and turmoil and determination ... Chris has emerged out of all shadows, to define his own worth. This ... I did not do. This ... he did with his own strength and direction. This ... is the eagle I would have wished for ...
You write well, Kellan. After reading this, I have to ask what Chris' response to this metaphor is? You work through your thoughts and feelings with your writing. Does Chris?
ReplyDeleteI read, somewhere, way back in elementary school that if you could write your thoughts, you understood what your thoughts were. Or something like that. I wonder what the result will be if Chris explores this metaphor.
Hi Rick. Thank you! I am not sure how much of my blog Chris actually reads, as there was a time back in the beginning where some of what I wrote about was very difficult for him and therefore he stopped reading it. But ... Chris and I are very close and I believe he knows himself to be and eagle and he knows I believe him to be an eagle, so if he were to read this post I think he would be proud to know I see him that way and proud because he sees himself that way. That's what I think, anyway :)
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