Every Person is Some Mother's Child

Sometimes I meet new people and we get to talking.  They ask what I do.  I ask what they do.  They ask if I have children.  I tell them ... I have four children - twin daughters that are 23, a son who is 18 and a younger daughter who is 14.  Unless these are people who are going to be in my world for any length of time, I don't mention that I have a twin daughter who is transgender.

If Chris were a fly on the wall and heard when I do this, I am certain it would hurt him, but ... I do not do it to hurt him or disrespect him. I don't do it out of embarrassment or to hide anything.  I do it because it is very difficult to explain, and, honestly, it is like anything intimate in your life that you do not necessarily wish to share with strangers - it is personal and unless they are part of my intimate world, I do not find it necessary to involve them in this journey we are all on.  I don't want to hear their opinions or see strange looks.  I don't want to put them in a position of having to deal with me if it came down to me having to defend my child - because I would.  Most people that I have offered this information to - friends whom I have grown closer with, listen with an open mind and are supportive of Chris and of me.

It is so strange how Chris' transition is changing me.  As hard as I sometimes internally fight it, my heart is completely with him.  If I were put in a position of having to battle for him on this subject - battle to protect him against anyone or anything - I would totally be there in front of him to defend all that he is doing to make his life better.  I am not at the point of complete trust, but I raised this amazing child and I have complete faith that he is intelligent and wise and I am growing more and more to trust that he knows what he is doing, and so ... because I am putting my faith and trust in his care for his own life, I am aligning behind him far quicker than I ever thought I would.

There were more times than I can count when I went to battle for my kids for one reason or another. There were emails and memos sent to teachers or coaches or Principals or Superintendents of the school district on their behalf over the years. I even had some teachers and coaches threaten my daughters when they were in high school, saying, "And don't let me get an email from your mother about this."  It never stopped me.  If I felt my children were wronged in some way, I was their advocate and I did not hesitate to call a meeting or send a message to someone to remind them that they were not just dealing with my children, but they were also dealing with me, when it came to my children's success or fair treatment in the world.  It has not happened yet, but one day it will - the day I will go to battle with someone to protect Chris again - and I will be there - even if I have my own internal demons that battle with me over all that is going on in his life.


I am Chris' mother - no matter what.  He knows that I struggle with all of this and I know he struggles with me because of that.  He also knows me well enough to know that if I intended my battle toward him ... he would know it.  My battle is not with Chris.  My battle is with me - my mother's child.

Every person is some mother's child.  It is when you fight her that you find out how fierce your battle will be ...