I See You, Chris

Alexis asked me, "Am I the only one who thinks we should make Chris a new stocking this year?" as the one we had had the name "Chloe" on it.  She said, "I'll make him a new one; let me make it."  She loves arts and crafts and very much wanted to make the new stocking but I thought it would make more of a statement if we just changed the old one.  So I searched out some fabric paint in our art cabinet, sat down at the kitchen table and proceeded to change the old stocking by crossing out the name "Chloe" and writing the name "Chris".

I could have let Alexis make a new stocking for Chris, but I needed to do this for me.  I need to do things for Chris to show him I am moving on.  I don't know if Chris feels what it means for me to cross out the name "Chloe", I don't know if he realizes the significance for me, but I know the importance.  I know where I was last year when Chris told me he was transgender.  I know the mountain of obstacles and valleys of emotions I have gone through this last year to get to this point of open and easy acceptance of this thing that has frightened and battled with me so much.  I know that we have many miles left on this journey, but we have all come a long way and my crossing off the name "Chloe" on this stocking says ... she is not who I see you as anymore.

I see you, Chris.  I see you ...